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Innocence - Chapter Six

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Wednesday 28th July 2004

     

L was lying in bed, watching Light sleep. It was peaceful. He had been thinking about touching Light’s hand, which was resting on the pillow beside his head. He wouldn’t do it, but he wanted to. He wanted to know if Light’s skin was still as warm as before. What was that? L sat up. He was sure he’d heard movement in the corridor outside their room.

    There was a knock at the door. L glanced at the display on Light’s watch. 3:00AM. Who on earth is that? L got out of bed and marched across the room. He stopped when the chain tightened, a metre or so from the door.

    “Who’s there?” he whispered.

    “L, it’s me.” Watari? L unlocked the door with his toes and kicked it open.

    “What do you want, Watari. I could have been asleep.”

    “But you weren’t,” Watari said, striding into the room. “L, we need to talk.”

    “What’s wrong?” Is it Wammy’s? Has something happened? L couldn’t think of anything else that would cause Watari to disturb him in the middle of the night.

    “Him,” Watari hissed, pointing at Light.

    “Light-kun? Light-kun is wrong?” L frowned. Is Watari going to explain why he’s always so mean to Light?

    “L,” Watari said, placing one hand on L’s shoulder. He thinks this will upset me. L looked up at Watari. “I know you like Light, and he’s your first real friend but…” Watari sighed. “I need to know that it won’t turn into anything, um, more.”

    “More?” L said. First Misa and now Watari? How does everybody seem to be reading my mind? “I don’t think that is likely to happen,” L said, looking down at his toes. He was glad it was still dark in the room; he didn’t want Watari to see how embarrassed he was.

    “Well, good,” Watari said. “But don’t feel you have to do everything he wants you to, just because you like him. I don’t trust him.” Watari turned to leave. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you L. It’s not right.” Watari closed the door behind him.

    Light looks at me ‘not right’? L locked the door and climbed back into bed beside the teenager. Not right, as in, wrong? Light looks at me wrong? As in bad? Like he doesn’t really like me? Like he hates me? I guess… I’m not very likeable. L looked at Light. He looks so peaceful. So innocent… “We’re friends, aren’t we?” he whispered. “You do like me, don’t you?”

     

    #

     

L closed the door of his shower cubicle and turned on the water.

    “L?” Light called. “L, are you upset about something? You’ve been really quiet. Is it because of Misa?”

    See! Nothing to worry about. L leant against the cubicle wall, closed his eyes and let the water run over his face. Light cares that you’re upset; he doesn’t hate you. “No,” he called to Light. “Not really.”

    “Is it my fault?” Light asked.

    L sighed.

     

    “L?” Light called.  “If I’ve done something to upset you, I’m really sorry.” Why isn’t he answering? It must be something I’ve done. But what? He seemed fine last night. “L?” Light turned the shower off and pulled himself up to look over the plastic wall dividing them. L was sitting on the floor of the cubicle, hugging his knees to his chest. “L? Are you crying?”

    L looked up. “Light-kun?!” he shouted. “What are you doing? Get down!”

    “I was just worried.  You’re crying, L. What’s wrong?” Light dropped down from the wall and grabbed his towel.

     

L sobbed. Why are you crying, stupid? He’s worried about you. He doesn’t hate you and you are being ridiculous!

    “I’m, I’m fine,” L said. The cubicle door opened, and Light reached in to turn the water off. “Light-kun!” L shouted.

    Light held out a towel. L snatched it and stood up. Light was staring intently at the ceiling tiles. Is he doing that to give me privacy?  L burst into tears again and wrapped the towel around his waist.

    “I, I’m decent.” he said. Light climbed into the cubicle and wrapped his arms around L.

    “L,” he said. “Please, tell me... is it my fault you’re upset?” Light loosened his grip on L’s shoulders and ran one hand through L’s hair. “I don’t want to upset you.”

    “No,” L said, breathing deeply and trying to calm himself down. “It’s not your fault Light-kun. I think I’m just stressed, that’s all.”

    “Because of the Kira case?” Light asked. “Don’t worry, L. We will find him. I know we will.”

     

    #

     

Light sat on the edge of the bed. He still had one arm around L. The detective hadn’t really stopped sobbing for the last ten minutes. This can’t just be about the Kira case. It’s too sudden. Light stroked L’s shoulder with his fingers. I hope he doesn’t think I’m being too intense. He doesn’t seem to mind me hugging him but... anyone else would. It’s just because he doesn’t know what friends are supposed to be like. Anyway, I couldn’t have just left him to cry.

    “L,” he said. “Please tell me what’s wrong. It can’t just be Kira. You were fine when I fell asleep last night, and then when I woke up you were like this. Did something happen in the night?”

    “I... I don’t know if I should tell you, Light-kun.” L sighed, wiping his eyes. Again. “You won’t be angry, will you?”

    “Angry? What happened?”

     

    #

     

“…It’s not right,” L sobbed. He’d told Light everything now, well apart from the ‘anything more’ bit. He didn’t want Light to know about that. Although, if it’s obvious to Watari, and even Misa, he’s probably figured it out already. But he’s still being nice to me. L sniffed and looked up. Is he angry? He’s still stroking my arm, but he’s gone quiet.

    “L,” Light sighed, “I think you misunderstood Watari.”

    L frowned. I misunderstood? “Really?” L wiped his eyes and used the corner of his towel to dry the wet patch on Light’s shoulder.

    “I think so,” Light said. “What exactly did he say about me, again?”

    “He said, ‘don’t feel you have to do everything he wants you to, just because you like him. I don’t trust him,’ and when he left he said, ‘I’ve seen the way he looks at you L. It’s not right.’ What else could he have meant?”

    “Oh, I think I have an idea.” Light stood up. “Come on. We’re going to talk to him”

    “Don’t, Light,” L grabbed Light’s arm. “Please. He’ll be mad that I told you.”

    “No,” Light said, “I won’t let this slide. It’s not right.”

     

Light marched down the corridor towards the room Watari was staying in, dragging L behind him.

    “Light,” L called out. “Slow down! Please. My towel is slipping!”

    Light stopped and turned around. I forgot we needed to get dressed. Oops. But he does look lovely like that. Light walked over to L and helped him to secure the towel around his waist. “Come on,” he said, taking L’s hand and leading him to Watari’s room.

     

“Open up!” Light banged on Watari’s door.

    The one next to it opened. “Will you keep it dow-” A pale, balding man looked out at them, turned red and closed his eyes. “It’s um, it’s nothing, honey,” he called into his room and slammed the door.  L held onto his towel and looked at his toes. He wished he had something to cover the rest of his body.

    “Watari-san!” Light shouted. “If you don’t open this door, I will say what I have to say right here in the corridor.”

    “Light-kun,” L whispered. “Let’s just go back.”

    “WATARI,” Light yelled.

    The door opened. Light grabbed L’s wrist and dragged him inside.

    L took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of Watari’s aftershave. The room was dark, but he could see Watari walking over to a cabinet and pouring himself a glass of something. It’s a bit early for port, isn’t it? Watari is being very odd lately.

    “What did you come to say then, Yagami-kun?” Watari said. “Have you made him tell you everything already?” Watari glanced at L. Oh no. He’s already mad. I shouldn’t have said anything.

    “I haven’t made him do anything,” Light said, “except come here, now.” Without even letting me get dressed!

    Watari put his glass down. He looks serious. He only looks like that when I’m in trouble. But... Oh I just don’t understand! This is a strange day.

    “He’s upset,” Light said. “He’s been a mess all morning. He thought you meant I didn’t like him, that I secretly hated him…” Light smiled. “But that’s not what you meant, is it? Quite the opposite in fact.” What? The opposite?

    “Indeed, Yagami-kun, that wasn’t what I meant at all. You have done an excellent job of convincing him of your innocent intentions.” His innocent intentions? What intentions?

    L stepped forwards. “Can both of you please stop talking about me like I’m not here?” he said. “And what do you mean Watari? What intentions has Light convinced me of?”

    “Sorry, L,” Light said, “I should explain. Watari-san is under the impression that I, to use Misa’s terminology, fancy you.” Light smiled. “He believes that I am exploiting your friendship in attempt to seduce you.” Seduce me? I think I need to sit down.

    L looked around for a chair. There was one, but it was on the other side of the room. He took a deep breath and moved closer to Light, leaning against the teenager’s shoulder. Seduce me? He thinks Light wants to seduce me… L giggled. So, Watari hadn’t guessed about me, after all?

    “Watari is this true?” he asked. “Do you really think that Light wants to be… something more with me?” That would be... that would be strange. But nice. It’s a nice thought. Ridiculous though.

     

“Yes, L. I do,” Watari said. “I think you may be too close to the situation to realise what he’s doing to you.” What? Light frowned. I haven’t done anything to him! Light clenched his fists. He wanted to do something. He wanted to wipe that condescending look off Watari’s face. But L was leaning on him, and Light wasn’t sure the detective was able to stand on his own at the moment. He focused on L’s soft skin against his and took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of strawberries from the detective’s damp hair.

    “Whatever,” he sighed, relaxing his fists and looking at L. “I wouldn’t, I-”

    “Watari,” L said. “I would like you to mind your own business. You are mistaken. Light-kun is my friend. That is all.” L sighed. “I would like you to be nice to him, in future.”

    “Thanks, L.” Light smirked. Watari’s nostrils flared.

     “Come on.” L grabbed Light’s hand and led him out of the room. Light winked at Watari as the door closed behind them.

     

Light followed L back down the corridor to their room. Is he just being childish, and doing this to annoy Watari? Or does he actually like holding hands with me? L let go when they reached their door and muttered something about a wasted morning and no breakfast. Oh. He’s embarrassed.  Light smiled. You can cry in front of me, L. I don’t mind.

    “L, calm down,” he said. “Let’s just chill for a bit, okay? You can’t go after Kira like this.” Light flopped onto their bed. L sighed and joined him.

    “I’m sorry I was so ridiculous his morning,” L said, rolling to face Light. “And I’m sorry Watari was horrible to you.”

    “Don’t apologise, L,” Light said. “I’d have been upset too, if it were the other way around, and someone told me you didn’t like me, or that you were trying to take advantage of me.” Light reached out and put his hand on top of L’s. “You know I care about you, don’t you? And, I… I’d never do anything to hurt you.” Light smiled. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, L.”

    “I would say the same,” L sighed. “But, since you’re the only friend I’ve ever had, I suppose you’re also the worst.”

    “I can live with that.”

    “You know,” L said, “I think you’re right. I’m not really in the mood for catching Kira.” L sat up. “Do you think the Task Force can manage without us for one day?”

    “I guess so,” Light said. “Why? What are you thinking?”

    “I want to go out for a little while. There’s a nice café near here?”

    “Okay,” Light said. “Maybe later. I think you should just relax, for a while.”

     

    #

     

It was mid-afternoon by the time L had calmed down enough to go out. Light followed him into ‘Tony’s’ and looked around. He’d never been somewhere so… L. The café was plainly decorated, except for giant canvas prints of cupcakes and tea cups on each wall. The specials board simply advertised an array of desserts and even the air tasted sweet.

    A tall, round man emerged from the kitchen. “Ryuzaki-san! Welcome back.”

    Light noticed the man’s gaze slipping to the handcuffs and then returning to L’s face.

    “Hello, Tony,” L said.

    “It’s nice to see you again,” Tony said, “and with a friend this time!” He smiled at Light.

    “Hello,” Light said, returning the smile. He must come here a lot if the owner recognises him.

    “You two make yourselves comfortable.” Tony walked over to the counter. “I’ll be along in a minute to take your order.”

    Light suddenly realised he was still holding L’s hand. The detective had explained, quite sternly, as they walked to the café that they would be holding hands more often, because it was more convenient than pulling each other around by the chain. Light hadn’t been able to hide his smile. He didn’t mind at all if L wanted to hold his hand, although it seemed unnecessary here. Light let go. Tony hadn’t seemed to think anything of it, but still, it was risky, in public.

    He followed L through the café towards a booth in the corner. I guess that’s where he usually sits.

    “So,” L said. “What do you think? Do you it here, Light-kun?”

    Light smiled. He could see how this place would be paradise for L. “It seems, um, nice enough,” he said. He’d have hated the café if he were here with anyone else, but it was wonderful to see L looking so happy. I wonder if he owns it? It’s just too much to his taste to be coincidence.

    L slid along the bench closest to the wall and looked up at Light. Why’s he looking so worried? He almost looks frightened. Is he frightened of me? Light sat down opposite the detective. He must be thinking about what Watari said. Light sighed. Perhaps their relationship had become a little too physical. But it’s so easy with him… And he never seemed to mind. Maybe I should back off though. I don’t want to upset him. He watched L pull the menu out of its stand on the table and flick straight to the back. I guess he knows where the desserts are. Light pulled out the other menu and did the same. Maybe he was spending too much time with L, but for some reason he didn’t really feel like eating anything other than a dessert. He looked up the detective. L was beaming at the second page from the back. Light checked it in his own menu.

    “L, I mean, um, Ryuzaki, you couldn’t possibly eat all of that,” Light said. He felt sick just looking at the page. L was about to order a Chocolate-Strawberry Extravaganza.

    “It looks wonderful,” L said. “Layers of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla ice-cream, covered in strawberry sauce and topped with fresh strawberries and chunks of milk chocolate - the perfect dessert for two to share.” Does he have the whole menu memorized? But, isn’t sharing a dessert kind of intimate? Light sighed.  So much for backing off.

    “Okay,” he said. “We can get one to share, if you want.” Maybe I can just get a bit of the vanilla before it melts in with the sauce.

    “Great.” L smiled. “I’m going to get a strawberry milkshake too, what would you like to drink Light-kun?”

    “Just a coke, I think,” Light said. How can he cope with so much strawberry?

     

     

Tony took their orders and went back to the kitchen, whistling. L looked around the cafe and smiled. It was always so nice and peaceful here. Even when other customers came in, they never bothered L in his corner. Not that L had anything against people exactly, he just didn’t like them. He liked being alone. Or with Light-kun. L looked out the window. What would it be like if Watari was right? I suppose Light is always nice to me. No one else would hug me like he did this morning… But he has a girlfriend. Why would he put up with someone like Misa if he wasn’t interested in women? He could be bisexual I suppose, then maybe... No, he is just a friend. I am 98% sure of that. I think. But... L watched a couple laughing together outside. I think... I think it would be nice.

    “Light-kun?” L took a deep breath and looked down, fiddling with the chain links hanging from his wrist. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but what if Watari was right? What if he likes me too, but he doesn’t know how I feel? “Light, I, I just wanted to tell you that I…” L took another breath. “I think I love you, Light-kun.” L felt himself turn red and pressed his hands to his cheeks. He peered up through his hair.

    “Sorry L,” Light said, looking up. “Did you say something?” Light frowned and pulled out his headphones. “I was just finding this song that reminds me of you. Why, um, why are you so red?” What? L sighed. How did I not notice he was listening to music! I am a terrible detective. Stupid L! Stupid timing!

    “It’s just... It’s a bit hot in here, that’s all,” L said, pressing his hands harder into his face, in the hope that it would somehow hold in the blush. “What, um, what song was it?”

    “Here,” Light said, “listen.” He held out one of the earphones. L smiled. His name was printed on it. He held the wire with his thumb and forefinger and brought it to hang loosely by his ear.

    “I am the candyman,” the earphone sang at him. “Comin’ from Bounty Land!” L smiled.

    “I love this song, Light-kun, but I didn’t think you would be an Aqua fan.”

    “Yeah...” Light said. “I’m not. Sayu put it on my mp3. It just comes on shuffle sometimes… I guess it sort of grows on you.” Light’s cheeks turned that pleasant strawberry colour again.

    “Here you are, boys!” Tony deposited a mountain of ice-cream on their table. He grinned and placed their drinks in front of them. “Enjoy!” He winked at L and went back to his place at the counter. L frowned. That was odd. Winking usually indicates conspiracy…

     

Light stared at the huge dessert. No. No way. Even L can’t manage all this! And I’m certainly not eating half. Light looked up at L. He was still slightly red, but he’d finally taken his hands away from his face. Is he embarrassed about something? “What were you saying earlier?” Light asked. “When I was finding the song?”

    “Oh, um…” L grabbed a spoon. “It wasn’t anything important.” The colour in L’s cheeks darkened and he shovelled a giant spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth.

    “L,” Light said. “Are you ok?” Light reached over the table and pressed his palm to L’s forehead. The redness spread beneath his hand. “L, your whole face is red, and you feel warm. I think you might be ill.”

    “I don’t think so, Light-kun,” L laughed. Light pushed the detective’s hair back. Even his ears are pink L pushed light’s hand away. “Can you take your tie out of our food now, please?”

    “What? My tie?” Light looked down. As he’d leant across the table, his tie had ended up in the strawberry sauce. “Damn it.” Fucking tie. Light loosened the tie and pulled it over his head. What’s wrong with him anyway? Does he need a doctor? He placed the tie on the table beside him and turned to glare out of the window at a couple cuddling on a bench. What are they laughing at?

    “Come on, Light,” L said. “Don’t you want any?” L held out a spoonful of the hideously sweet dessert. He wants to feed me? Again? Light bit his lip. At least there’s no audience this time. But... No. I’m supposed to be backing off. This is getting too weird.

    “I can feed myself, you know,” Light said. L’s smile faded. Oh crap. I’ve upset him again. But he doesn’t like me that way. He just doesn’t understand what friends are supposed to be like. It’s not fair to keep confusing things. Light sighed and picked up his own spoon. I should have kept my distance from the start.

     

Oh… L stared at the spoonful Light had refused. I guess that was stupid really. Of course, Light-kun doesn’t want to eat from my cutlery. Especially if he thinks I’m ill. L blinked at the dessert.

    L shoved spoon after spoon into his mouth. It wasn’t really ice-cream anymore, just a sweet melty mess. Maybe... maybe Light did hear me. Maybe he heard me but he’s pretending he didn’t, because he doesn’t like me and he doesn’t want to upset me. That’s why he doesn’t want to share my spoon. Why would he? Now that he knows. He probably hates me now. No... He’s smiling at me. Maybe he really didn’t hear. I hope he didn’t hear. I shouldn’t have said anything, anyway. It was silly. He has Misa and even if he was... bisexual. He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t want... L put down his spoon and looked out of the window. The couple were still there. They weren’t laughing anymore but they looked happy. He wouldn’t want me. L sighed, picked up his spoon and finished off the last few strawberries.

    “Done?” Light asked as L put down the spoon.

    “Yes,” L said. Do you want to leave now?”

    “Yeah. We probably should. You’ve been eating for ages. It’s dark out.”

    As they left the cafe, L shoved his hands in his pockets. Stupid idea. Saying you want to hold his hand all the time. He doesn’t want to hold your stupid hand.

    “Are you okay?” Light asked. “Are you cold?”

    “No. I am fine, Light-kun.”

    Light put his hand on L’s arm. “You are a bit cold,” he said, pulling L’s hand out of his pocket and rubbing it between his own palms. “Are you sure you aren’t ill?”

    L took his hand back. “I’m fine.”

    Light sighed. L looked at him. “What?”

    “Nothing.” Light smiled and put his arm over L’s shoulder. “We don’t want to be pulling each other around with the chain, remember.”

    This is, this is like... it’s like he’s hugging me. Like this morning. He can’t hate me. He’s worried that I’m ill and cold, and he’s hugging me!

    “Oh.” L said. “Light-kun, I picked up your tie.”

    “Thanks.” Light said. “Hold onto it for now, will you.”

    “Okay.” L leant into Light’s strange walking hug. Is this? This is how couples walk. This is… this is not normal for friends, is it? Maybe, maybe really good friends... So, perhaps, Light does like me? He thinks I am a good friend. He said this morning... L smiled. He said I was his best friend. L giggled. I have a best friend.

    “You’ve eaten too much sugar, haven’t you?” Light laughed.

     

“Light? L? Is that you?” Matsuda stopped to stare at them as they walked up the steps to the hotel. Light removed his arm from L’s shoulders. L stopped singing along to Lollipop on Light’s MP3 player.

    “We went to a cafe.” Light said. “I’m afraid Ryuzaki may have had a little too much sugar.”

    L stuck out his tongue.

    “Okay...” Matsuda said. “Well, I’m going home now. Everyone else left already. Will you two be joining us tomorrow?”

    “Yes, yes.” L said. “Did you have any luck today?”

    “No. We didn’t find anything Kira related.” Matsuda shook his head. “Well, goodnight.”

    “Bye,” L grinned and waved at Matsuda as Light led him up the steps.

    “See you tomorrow.” Light called as they went inside.

     

    #

     

Light climbed into bed and smiled at L, who was sitting on the floor, wearing Light’s tie as a headband and playing on a hand-held games console.

    “You like video games, L?” Light yawned.

    “Yes. Sometimes… Aha! There is no escape!” The detective giggled, tapping furiously at the buttons.

    “Night, L.” Light said.

    “Night, Light.” L burst out laughing.

    “What’s so funny?” Light asked, stretching out beneath the duvet. I didn’t know it was possible to get this high on sugar.

    “Night… Light!” the detective giggled. “Nightlightnightlightnightlight...”

    Light sighed and pulled a pillow over his head. Note to self: Do not let L order Chocolate-Strawberry Extravaganzas!

     

    #

     

“L?” Light called. He looked at his watch. It’s 2:00AM… Why isn’t he in bed? “L? You had better not be hiding under the bed again.” Light pushed the duvet back and climbed out of bed. He followed the chain across the room. L was curled up on the floor, fast asleep, still clutching the games console. He’s like a little kid. Light smiled. He took the small computer from L’s hands and placed it on the desk. He carried the detective to the bed and pulled the duvet over him.

    Light climbed in beside L, propped himself up on one elbow and smiled at the sleeping man.

    He leant down and placed his lips against L’s forehead. “L, Ryuzaki,” he whispered. “I love you”.

    Light lay on his side, as close to L as he could be without their bodies touching, and watched the detective sleep for a while. He felt strangely relieved to have told L how he felt, aloud.  

Sorry this one's a tad late - new year and all that.

As usual, please enjoy the chapter!
and, if you're feeling kind, leave me a comment?

Thanks for reading :D

© 2014 - 2024 kit-kat-151
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maggiecat2000's avatar
I was so mad when I found out that Light had his head phones in. I was like ”LIGHT YOU DUMB F**K!”

the feels in this chapter though! :iconcryforeverplz: cat wait for the next one!